Dealing with Taboos by Elizabeth

Dealing with Taboos
by Elizabeth

Note: A query in regards to ANR's being taboo was posed on a list. Elizabeth's response to this specific question was intelligently written, clear and concise. Here you will find Elizabeth's answer to the topic at hand. With her permission, she has graciously allowed her response to be shared here.

Please do not reproduce without her consent.

- Shani

"Your wife is not alone in her struggle. I have struggled as well. Certainly I am not the only one here on this list who has dealt with the inner conflict that accompanies adult nursing. At one time or another all of us experience a feeling of doubt when we encounter some level of controversy forced upon us by society. That's when we ask ourselves, "Is this OK?!" "Am I OK?" Those of us participating in an adult nursing relationship face it every day. It is how we deal with it that matters."

"So, you and your wife have to come to grips with your own emotion surrounding ANR. Is it OK for you? Is it OK for her? It sounds like it's not quite OK with her yet. That's normal. Give her time."

"Society (not unlike children on the playground) is cruel. Age doesn't matter when it comes to people's opinions. Let me give you an analogy: I will be 50 my next birthday and have encountered so much negative judgment surrounding nursing, it amazes me even today. My eldest son will be 27 next month, but when he was a baby, breast-feeding was still considered taboo. I had to discern my belief (breast feeding is the best for baby) and be convicted in that belief so that NO ONE could dissuade me. Nowadays, it is the common message sent to all new mothers. It is sad to remember all the tears I cried trying to convince my own husband that it was the right thing to do regardless of what others preached."

"But I digress."

"The question you ask is a pertinent one: Should adult nursing between two consenting adults be acceptable? Naturally, you will find support from this group. However, as you point out, the taboo society imposes is the real issue. Can we go against what most people believe is right and still feel good about doing it? I would like to answer through another example: Can you remember when the act of homosexuality was considered punishable by law? Perhaps not. But, in many states, sodomy is illegal. Today, we accept gay practices as ones of personal discretion. Conversely, adult nursing is NOT illegal, but because it is not categorized as "romantic," it is instead identified as 'kinky' ".

"Instead of focusing on your own desire, may I suggest making it a more intimate way to strengthen your relationship? Adult nursing can be viewed as a part of the "secret language of love" between the two of you. Remind your wife that this is about romance, about love and about something only the two of you share. The way you touch her, the way you kiss her, the way you love her is unique to you and unique to her. It will never be shared with another person the same way and neither should it be. In fact, it should never need be revealed to another person."

"Therefore, I recommend that discretion be the better part of valor. Taking the approach that what you and your wife do in the privacy of your bedroom is your business, could grant her the permission she needs to fulfill a deeper connection between the two of you. But the bond you create from a nursing relationship will endure and will transcend all negative judgment that may be passed on you by the ignorance of society."

"Dedicate yourselves to the mutual goal of connection. Tune out the rest of the world and set your sights on her eyes. Delve into her spirit and drink from her breast the very nectar of life. Tell her how wonderful she is and remind her how you treasure her. Be grateful for her willingness to explore this taboo and always say you love her for what she does to benefit the relationship."

"I believe the rewards far outweigh the consequences."

"But, of course, that is just my not so humble opinion."

Kind Regards,

Elizabeth

10 Ways To Deal With Societal Taboos
By Elizabeth

1. Resolve with conviction that ANR is right for you.

2. Keep it discreet, quiet and personal.

3. Be romantic in your approach.

4. Make ANR a part of your “love language” understood only by you and your partner.

5. Ignore personal attacks with silence, or

6. Acknowledge personal attacks as merely the opinion of another which differs from yours.

7. Remind yourself of another point of view you hold that is different from the person who is judging you (this can make it easier to understand them and place the conversation “outside” yourself.

8. Commit yourself to your partner (ANR is a team event).

9. Stick together. Be loyal and supportive of your partner (especially under opposition attack).

10. Dedicate yourself to a mutual goal of connection. Be proud of what you have created! ANR is not an easy thing to do.