7.30.10 - I am not going to date men anymore from the Internet.  I do realize that that is the "in" thing nowadays to do as such but it's not for me anymore.  My last one occurred last evening.  Nice person although a few quirks that I don't know if I could have tolerated long term which I prefer not to divulge here.  He let me know that I was a "bad, bad housekeeper" and wished me the best.  Of course I never said I was number one, number two I asked him over to my house for further conversation only on a spur of the moment because he didn't feel comfortable taking me to his home.  Had I known ahead of time we were going to end up here chit chatting, the house would have been immaculate.  However my crystal ball is still in the repair shop.  I asked my roomie if he had had a bad experience with a woman, a one time deal, whereas she had stalked him, would he be leary of having women over after that experience.  He said no.   All in all I am relieved, in a sense, that it didn't work out. Oh yes, also shared with the roomie what the date said about the house; he just snorted.  He is the one that has been cleaning the house and has done miracles with it since he's been here.  Must be nice to live in a glass house eh?

OAO.

7.26.10 - I do believe the emotional maelstrom has safely passed.  Love being a female; sometimes I wonder if men go through these quite as much as we do.

Saw "No Country for Old Men" this weekend. OMG what an awesome movie!  I saw it on regular television and couldn't handle the commercials anymore.  So I went to my favorite torrent site, downloaded it and watched it in leisure.  Wow!  No wonder it won four Academy Awards.  Javier Bardem was excellent as the sociopath; I wouldn't want him sitting in my bedroom waiting for me with his special gun. 

Finished up "Breaking Dawn", it was pretty anti-climatic since I really, really did not wish it to end.  Good series.  I indulged and bought myself a sweet little Twilight inspired necklace:  A clear Swarovski Heart (Edward's heart) on a silver toggle necklace, off to the side a wee bit, a small red crystal.  Heh.

Visited Margaret this a.m. - she is not taking care of her dogs.  One water bowl was empty, the other was left with a small amount of water and was dirty. They needed food, clearly she cannot take care of them but I don't know what to do or if I should let her sons know what is going on.  Ugh.

OAO.

7.17.10 - Ah regrets.  Nothing like the big "R" coming back to bite you in the ass once in a great while.  Tonight, it's what I could have aspired to.  I wanted to be like my mom so I pestered her into letting me take ballet lessons. I quit after a very short time, because I wasn't as thin as the rest of the class, I was only 8.  Quite a few years into my pre-teens, I took charm school, quit that because I felt I wasn't pretty enough. Did take after her as far as being a secretary progressing to executive secretary/assistant.  I knew she never got that far, but I still felt like a failure.  Being human sucks.

Am into the first hour of "Eclipse".  Damn, should have watched it first before reading the book.  Of course the book is much more richly detailed - I'll muster through if nothing else to drool over the Cullen's male vampires.  lol  Especially...Edward, natch.

OAO.

P.S.  Oh yeah - love this button...

7.16.10 - Well so much for my paycheck.  Ha ha.  Life is good. 

Ah yes, I'm a Nona (that's Italian for "Nana" folks) again...my momma kitty had five beautiful babies two weeks ago.  They are comfortably residing in my closet.  I'm crossing my fingers they will make it; I think so, I hope so.  J. and his friend removed a ton of mold from the bathroom utilizing bleach.

For once in my life, I will have help and support in case something should happen.  And my saving grace?  A man who cares just as much for animals as I. 

Giggled over the phone this evening with my sister yet again comparing our Mom to Joan Crawford (Mommy Dearest).  I don't *think* there are any remaining wire hangers in the house. *shudder* 

My sister will not even have any Comet or Ajax in her house.  lol

Not much to report.  I'm drained from the bloody heat and humidity here in this damn town.  No rain in site.  The weathermen are gleefully announcing that it is probably going to get worse. Yeah well bite me.  However it will be cooler tomorrow...I believe 110!

OAO.

7.14.10 - Finally freakin payday!  Five weeks, not the usual four, five!!!  Argh.  I think I bought out Wal-Mart.  lol  I finished up about 9ish after strolling in about 7ish...thank god I only had to wait on the cab for 'bout ten minutes.  Even then at the time in the morn it was over 90 degrees. 

The heat is incredible; almost a joke.  My g/f and I went out today in the heat - her a/c is on the fritz, the outside temp showed 114 from her vehicle.  Woo Hoo!  We were getting terribly punchy trying to find something for me to wear for a potential date.  Good god she even made me put the damn dress on OVER my half ass ensemble of mismatched shorts and faded purple shirt.  I was trying to frantically pull it down and glancing down noticing that ye gods! I needed to shave my legs!  Albeit it was just a stubble pushing through my epidermis it mattered naught, I SAW those nasty little hairs.  ARGH!

And let's not talk about how loooonnnnnggggggggggggggggg the dress was.  OMG!  It went down to my sneakers, puddled around those babies and then some.  Okay alot some.  She had to smugly say that "I needed to grow up", meaning TALLER.  Love her dearly.  Thank GOD for her.

OAO. 

7.9.10 - There are two things in my life that have sustained me:  Music and my cats.  Music from when I was a child.  It got me through a very violent as well as highly dysfunctional childhood.  To this day, when things become stressful, I turn to music.  To reach out and touch something I dearly love unconditionally, I turn to be my furry companions.  Albeit they are a handful at times, I know I can pick up one or two or...(lol)...and bury my face into their fur or just smooch them and know things will be alright eventually.  And they don't talk back like the roomie.  Ugh.

I had a sig tag on my gmail account from Nietzsche:  "You must have chaos in your life to give birth to a dancing star."  I do believe I gave birth to an entire universe last week. 

A monsoon is on it's way in, though it is taking it's dear sweet time.  The humidity is soaring, making things unbearable even more so here in the land of Hell.

Visited my ex-landlady, Margaret yesterday.  She and her $300 Pomeranian puppy - "Jake".  Cuter than a button, the puppy not her.  She was cranky as usual.  Since the fiasco of her not telling me she was giving up the house I had rented from her for the last thirteen years until the very last minute (the day before the auction), I've kept my distance from her.  We're not so buddy buddy anymore by my choice.  Although I do not have to move out of here until December, it would have been nice for her to share with me she couldn't afford the second mortgage anymore.  She is a greedy old cuss and pulled the same old crap other landlords had.  That is, gathering the rent from their tenant every month even though they were not paying the mortgage company.  All I can say to that is God don't like ugly. 

Couldn't sleep yet again, so watched "Quarantine" about 3 in the morning.  Scared the hell out of me natch.  Did I turn it off?  Nah.  Grimly watched it till the end.  Love them horror movies.  *chuckle*

Need to go love on a kitten.

OAO.

7.6.10 - I think I may change the name of my blog.  "Beautifully Chaotic" is an interesting title but things have been so chaotic on the homefront and it hasn't been beautiful.  *sigh*

Let's see what other good news can I share?  Ah yes one more week until my check comes in.  I've run out of options on how to get money into this house to feed the furbabies and my stomach is tight all the time now. 

Can I sigh again?

6.25.10 - I miss blogging.  I do have an account on:  MySpace, FaceBook, ANRSpace.com, even Runboard.  Do I post there?  Well a bit on MySpace and I keep thinking welllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I pay for my OWN space why not meander back there and just share to the world my thoughts?  lol

I find it amazing that since I discontinued the Personals on LOMAH, how many men have written with their numerous complaints.  How many women have written?  One.  Perhaps it's a Mars vs. Venus thing?  Women can accept changes more readily than men?  *shrug*  I find my life less stressful since I have dropped the Personals.  Of course, it is always one bad apple (or would it be one ass***e) that has to spoil it for everyone.  Ah well.

I have been depressed alot of late.  Come to find out that not only is there a disorder during the winterime called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), but there is also a reverse SAD which occurs during the summertime which is what I am strongly presuming I have.  I so hate summertime here in Arizona. I guess it's because I hate being here period.  Hopefully around Christmastime I'll be out of Phoenix and somewhere else.  Now that would be swell.

Obviously my mood is a tad dark, but then again I was never Merry Sunshine - more like Melancholy Baby.  Once I get my goth site up and running I'll be moving this blog over yonder. 

So like anything that is read online, take what you can and leave the rest.

Over and out.

Shani

6.30.10 - Another icky day in Paradise.  J. misplaced his bus pass so I have been STUCK in the house for the last couple of days. Albeit it has been in the triple digits but I don't care.  I want out!  He'll be getting it tomorrow and as soon as it is in (literally) my hot little hands, I'm out the door.  I appreciate the neighbors helping me out getting me to where I need to go, but sometimes it's just nice to be by myself. 

Eclipse is out now.  My sister didn't like it - she said there was too much kissing and not enough action. lol  She also is "Team Jacob" and was criticizing Edward's hairy arms. *rolling eyes*  I was laughing so damn hard, I needed that laugh just about now.  And just for her...I designed a montage of Edward's...arms.  *snicker*

S.