Supply and Demand
by Anonymous

We had been a nursing trio for three months.  Our daughter, and first child, was exclusively breastfed during this time. During these wonderful months my DH and I had developed a new intimacy in our relationship through nursing.  He had been a wonderful help in times of engorgement.  This had led to his nursing from my breast at least 3 to 4 times a day in addition to our daughter's nursing.  Sometimes I tandem nursed them, sometimes separately.  The satisfaction, the peaceful bliss, the sexual pleasure for  both of us was wonderful.

But the day of my return to work had arrived.  For the past month I had been using a manual dual cylinder breast pump; to condition myself to pumping milk to leave with the daycare for my daughter, and to build up a supply of pumped milk before I returned to work.  During this time I had continued to nurse her exclusively and my husband.  I was about to learn about the effects of supply and demand on my lactating breasts.

The morning arrived.  I had gotten to bed early the night before and was pleased to notice that I had awakened to very full breasts.  Bringing our daughter to my bed I lay down to nurse her.  Touching my DH I reminded him that he had to help get me empty before we left.  We enjoyed a leisure early morning tandem nursing session.  Watching the two of them drink deeply from my warm breasts was intensely satisfying.  My nipples and areolae enclosed in their mouths, I had felt at least two letdowns.  They released my large reddish nipples and DH and I enjoyed a quick shower.  After dressing and breakfast, my last task was one final nursing of them before off to work.  A clear letdown sensation as I nursed my daughter made me feel confident that I was well emptied on one side.  My husband took a few minutes for a final nursing on the other, and I was off.

Sometimes even the best laid plans can go wrong.  My usual work schedule allowed me a 15 minute break before and after lunch, with a good 45 minutes for lunch.  I had planned a quick pumping at each break expecting to find a quiet place to empty my breasts at lunch.  This was pretty close to three nursings I usually did when at home with my daughter, so I expected things to go smoothly.

As the morning went along, I was careful to drink my usual fluids.  But I didn't expect the confusion of the day to interfere so much.  When break time came, I didn't have 15 minutes as I had expected.  By the time I was alone, had gotten my pump and the bags for my milk out, I had less than 10 minutes.  I quickly unbuttoned my blouse and dropped both the cups of my nursing bra.  How had I leaked so much milk in just the three hours since I had last nursed them?  My pads were quite damp.  I could smell the scent of my milk.  I  quickly brought the cup of the pump to my right breast and began to pump.

Perhaps it was the hectic morning of returning to work.  Maybe it was just the feeling of leaving my two nurslings.   I pumped for the remaining time from my right breast and managed only an ounce of milk.  I just planned to make up the time at lunch.  After getting myself quickly  "put back together" I got back to work.  It didn't take long to realize I was going to be in trouble.  About an hour after my break, the letdown I had tried to have when pumping finally came.  I was at my desk when a co-worker, who recently had given birth to her third child, came up and said, "I think you need to slip into the ladies room."  I looked down to see wet spots over both my nipples.  I had forgotten to put in new pads.  "Thanks," I said, smiling sheepishly.

I looked around, seeing no one but her, I quickly got two fresh pads from my purse, slipped my hands under my blouse and inserted them into my cups.  Then I slipped on my sweater to cover the spots.  I thought, "This is going to be an interesting day."

I managed to get to lunch only 10 minutes late.  Fortunately I did get an undisturbed 30 minutes of pumping.  I had to empty the pump twice from each of my heavy breasts.  I had pumped almost 8 ounces total.  Surely this would satisfy my breasts need to be emptied for the rest of the afternoon.  Not.

My afternoon break went about like the one before lunch.  By 4:00, an hour before I could go home, my bra was so tight I had to take out the pads.  Those pumps just don't get all the milk out.  Dried milk from several unplanned letdowns had made stiff spots over my breasts on my blouse.  At least my husband would be home with the baby when I arrived.

During that last hour of work and the 30 minute drive home I could think of nothing but my breasts and nursing them.  I was so glad I didn't get stopped by the cops.  I felt like I was constantly dripping milk, and my blouse looked it.

When I stepped in the door, my DH looked up and just stared.  I was already unbuttoning my blouse as I closed the door.  "Bring her and you two come to the bedroom."

In only a moment I had removed my blouse and skirt.  They came to me as I lay down on the bed.  I couldn't believe my breasts.  Before I became pregnant, I couldn't fill out a little 34B bra completely.  The bra I had worn that day was a 38C.  When I looked down, I had breast hanging out the cups, the front hook was more than an inch from my chest.  I could have filled up a 38DD.  And I thought I had been full before.

Removing the bra, the three of us lay down.  I couldn't believe how hard my breasts had become.  As I began to try to nurse them, my areolae were so tight they could only grasp the nipple.  I know they needed to take more of my breasts into their mouths, but they couldn't.  My nipples were like hard marbles.

Taking just my nipples, they both began to suck.  My DH mumbled between sucks that he was getting milk, but I knew I hadn't let down.  They nursed for about 10 minutes.  Fortunately my milk was indeed flowing.  I could feel some of the fullness lessen.  They were beginning to take my areolae into their mouths.  I was finally beginning to relax.

At last my first letdown.  They were almost frantic trying to keep up with the flow of milk.  All I would feel was the relief.  I just wanted them to suck and suck and suck from me, to drink from me, to drain the milk from these huge, wonderful udders.

We nursed for almost an hour.  I felt at least 2 more small letdowns.

"What happened today?"  my husband asked.  I related to him the day.  The only thing I could conclude was that over the previous weeks of nursing both of them and the additional pumping I had been doing had kicked me into a higher milk production than I realized.  And I must have been nursing them more than I had realized.  So when I got to work, and only had one good pumping session at lunch, all that milk was building up in my breasts.

That evening I almost constantly nursed.  I would call him over each time my daughter finished.  I was so comforting to see my daughter, and then my husband suckle from my breasts.  The drive in me to give my milk to them was overwhelming.  It was all I wanted to do, give my milk.  Thankfully, my nipples were up to the constant suckling.

Finally, after I had put my daughter to bed, I quietly nursed him one final time.  I stroked him as he suckled the ambrosia from my breasts one last time.  I would feel him falling asleep, his suckling no longer steady.  His mouth relaxed and my elongated nipple slipped easily from his mouth.  I looked closely in the soft light at his slight smile, asleep.  My dark red nipple almost touching his lips,  drops of milk forming and falling from it into his slightly open mouth.  My breasts were finally back to a somewhat empty state.

I wondered how much milk I had produced and given on this wild day.  And I wondered what tomorrow would be like.

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